People are busy pointing fingers. Sometimes, I may do it, sometimes you may do it, sometimes those around us do it. We all do it to varying degrees. This type thinking breeds anger and hostility and leaves people feeling like victims in their own lives. When we live this way, we feel powerless. When we believe someone outside of ourselves has to change, then we’ve given our power away. We always have a choice. If we focus on what we can change within ourselves, we can have a profound impact in our own lives and the lives of others.
One simple strategy I learned was to play the role of observer in my own life. Instead of reacting to things personally, I would pause, step back from my feelings and witness the dynamic as an outsider. For instance, several years ago, I had a client become very angry at me for not going in on her Doberman in the winners bitch class. Someone told her that if I hand her dog off in the winners class, it means I don’t want her dog to win. As is stated in my client/Handler agreement, I explained it is always my policy that all of my clients’ dogs are presented to the best of their ability regardless of which dog I am committed to show. She did not believe me. Rather than take her lack of trust in me as a handler personally, I chose to step back and truly listen to her truth. Rather than try to change her mind, I said, “If you ever hire a handler and you feel they are letting down on your dog, you should fire them. If you believe that I would do that, then I think it is best that we not work together.” A part of me wanted to change her mind and prove to her that her belief wasn’t true, yet I also acknowledged that if I engaged in trying to prove myself to her, in the end, I would be setting myself up for much future frustration. I chose not work with a client that didn’t trust me. This scenario left both of us feeling empowered. (BTW, the dog never finished!)
When we make choices from a place of loving empowerment, everyone benefits. I encourage you to pause and consider the choices you are making in your life right now. Each time you have a decision to make, ask yourself, “How will I feel about myself if I make this choice? How might my decision impact those around me?” Instead of focusing on what isn’t right, let’s focus on what we can shift within ourselves to bring ourselves more peace, more love. Let’s be trendsetters. Let’s make a difference in the world of dog shows not based on how many ribbons we’ve won or top rankings we’ve earned, but by the number of people whose lives we touched in a positive way. Let’ each do our part in creating a brighter, happier, dog show community.
Published in Professional Handlers Association, Q1-2018-RHP NEWSLETTER-Finger-Pointing